distant memory....

Imagine getting a call or text at 11:02PM that a loved one is now deceased.
words really cannot describe how i felt,but if i had to choose few,they would be:
misery
anguish
sorrow
heartache
melancholy
And those are just to name a few...
Stephen,I cant believe you are gone forever.I cant sleep,eat,or think right.And even though we didnt talk as much as we used to,I appreciated the random calls or texts you sent.They always made my day.We been through a lot,my friend,and we've always managed to get passed it.Whether it be someone telling me a rumor about you,or groupies acting as if they were your girl...lol.We had something that no one could break and something people didnt understand.Yes,there were many temporary place holders,but there can only be a number one...Gosh i miss you.
Its only been a couple hours since I heard the news,and Im still overwhelmed...it feels like a nightmare that I will soon wake up from.Facing reality right now is the last thing I want to do...Its funny because I was thinking about calling you last week,just to get a laugh.But now,theres no more laughter,only memories.I really cant deal with this...and Im a strong in parts.I will never be the same,but no one will ever know it...you know how I am,always having that hard exterior.But I just wanted you to know,you were the best friend I could ever have...I really appreciated you.
No matter what people said about you to me,I knew the truth,and I just brushed it off because at the end of the day,you and I both knew the business ;)
Love you Stephen A. Seard...
xoxo_Janay C. Williams

R.I.P Stephen
3/22/88-1/10/09